I woke up this morning feeling my faith falling to the floor as I thought about the house projects that lay before us and the money that is currently flying out the window. The questions kept flooding my mind… will the repairs ever be done? are we doing enough to protect against termites in the future? will we have enough funds to see our plans through? are we in over our head? will we make it to the other side of this? I felt overwhelming fear creeping in little by little like a cloud of darkness over my mind.
There have been so many moments where I have felt weak, defeated and filled with doubt over the past few months. In that moment this morning, I opened my devotional for the day and allowed God to show me the way and to straighten my path. His love, His comfort, His word, His forgiveness is all that I needed to squash those seeds of doubt.
“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid: for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2
Surrendering my fear and surrendering my plans and my doubt is exactly what God wants from me through all of this. He’s asking me to lay it all at His feet. It’s during these low points that my faith is strengthened and I truly understand what it means to let go and let God. You might ask how God has anything to do with the course of home repairs, termite protection and our finances. Well, God may not come down from heaven and wave a wand over our house and hand me a stack of money but He will provide me with the strength, hope and peace that I need to get through it all. Being afraid and worried about all of those issues will not change a thing. If anything, it makes it worse and I’m ultimately in a ball of knots. My husband reminds me all the time, like a true pastor’s son, “God says all we need is to have faith the size of a mustard seed. Just FYI…that’s pretty small, honey.” And he’s absolutely right. It doesn’t take much.
“Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20
It’s right there in His word that I find my strength. Nothing is impossible. Those doubts I heard running through my mind were only distractions to keep me away from God’s glory over my life.
As I listened to Britt Nicole’s Sun is Rising this morning, I soaked up her encouraging lyrics and found peace in them like never before. Because even when I’m drowning in doubt, I can LOOK BEYOND the clouds. God is the beacon in the night and the sun beyond the clouds.
Amen to that.