Over the course of this past month, I’ve experienced many days where I’ve relied heavily on blind faith. The kind of faith that arrives naturally and doesn’t make sense on paper.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
I’ve expressed in the past that I struggle with trusting God’s will for me, trusting His plan for my life and trusting that everything will be O.K. It’s my inner control freak that gets in the way. Giving up that control has been an inner battle for years. People would talk to me about letting go of control and letting Jesus take the wheel. I would hear it, it would make sense to me and I definitely wanted it. But let’s be frank, it doesn’t always happen so peacefully.
Sometimes it’s a struggle to relinquish the reigns.
Sometimes it’s a daily meditation.
Sometimes it’s an hourly meditation.
The one thing I find comfort in now is that God knows my heart. Each time I pray, He understands I’m bringing myself, my entire, imperfect self to Him asking Him to take over because I can’t do it on my own. And over time, I feel the change in me. I feel the bondage of trying to control my life slowly evaporate, piece by piece. And then one day, the blind faith kicks in. The trust in His design and His work in me and my life appears and provides me peace.
The most beautiful part about this journey is watching God’s plan for my life unfolding. His glory is written all over the pages of my book.